A New Life

Sometimes Life really wants our attention. And it may bring us some challenges to get that attention. And if we are not tuning into the way Life is moving, we may resist it, or attempt to change it. We may try to control the circumstances by thinking our way through them.

But Life is here to show us that we are being taken care of, in ways that we cannot understand with our minds. We are constantly being guided by the Infinite Reality, right within our own Being. We are waking up, as consciousness, so that we move with Life, as Life, not against it. And if we find ourselves in a challenging circumstance, then it is time to get quiet, and pay attention.

Recently I was told I needed surgery on my hip. This has been a constant source of discomfort for me, and the idea of being pain-free, even if it means surgery, is something I want to experience.

And then, just a day after a very powerful Four-Day Retreat, I was told that the house I was renting was going on the market, and that it would probably sell rather quickly, and that I would need to move out. The only "problem" with that is that there were no houses for rent in my little town that I can afford. Not one.

I went through a little darkness then. The weariness of being in pain, along with knowing that I would need a couple of months recovery time, without a known place to live pulled the rug out from under me. (This is when we can see if we are a bit too accustomed to where we are). A dense, dark cloud descended, and I felt lost and overwhelmed.

I couldn't fight this. I had no energy to do so, and no weapons with which to fight. The invitation to sit in overwhelmed was all I had. It didn't last long. The part of "Joi" that needed security literally fell away. I watched it happen. And in its place was a blazing awake clarity. My body felt very light with an enthusiasm that wasn't there before. A sense of possibility opened up in my Being. We were going some place new!

I had an idea to check out places to live in the next town, about 1/2 hour away. So I began to search for a new home. There were several to choose from. I now feel that this new place is only a stepping stone, and not an arrival. And because I will still need to work at my little day job at the library, I will need to commute in the winter. And so guidance is suggesting I sell my old truck, and lease a new car. How exciting! There is a new flow of life here, and now that I am paying attention to it, I recognize that the old way of Being was becoming a bit stagnant and uninspired. This new flow feels light and full of new energy. Creative energy. I can sense that it may lead me to another place. I can almost count on it. And because I no longer need "my" way, I am open to Life's way. And even though I have lived in this gorgeous, sweet community for over 20 years, I can be open to change if this is what Life wants. I feel like I am about to embark on a new adventure, and I have no idea where it will lead. But I also know that I don't need to know.

Informed by Love

I remember those days....of being so in Love with the Divine, so lost in the longing of the heart, that I found no satisfaction anywhere. The world felt empty of joy and happiness, and the ache of my heart was the only thing I knew. I felt like I was being consumed by this longing, night and day, in a deep visceral and physical way. Sometimes it was agony.

And then one day, that changed. It wasn't that I lost the Love. It just turned around. It wanted to question and be curious about Life. So began the days of opening to everything that came my way. Even resistance and fear became something that held an attraction, in an odd sort of way. All that arose allowed the field of consciousness to enter deeper and deeper into the body. It was consciousness that was curious and attracted, and the small self didn't have a valid voice in this dance of inquiry. Consciousness was the authority, and so, out of Love, it denied the small self it's petty rules.

And now it feels like Love is settling in deeper into the body, allowing the body to know Love. The body/mind feels included in Love, and the response from the body is thrilling and astonishing. It is bliss. There is arising within the body a knowing; the body knows the truth of itself, of Life, as it senses it inside. It is completely self-sustaining. The body/mind/nervous system is maturing in a different way; it now knows the only thing that will bring it happiness, is what is moving it, breathing it, loving it, and including it in itself. It is not conceptual at all. It is felt. And it is completely self-affirming.

From this place, action arises.

Aloneness

The journey of embodiment has one requirement. And its not an easy one. The infinite reality that is wanting to occupy you wants you for itself. It doesn't want to share.

So if we are, in any way, thinking we need others to feel complete, we are not walking the path of Aloneness. In the moment that we are needing others, we are forgetting the One that is really here. And the One that is really here doesn't want to be forgotten. To completely open up ourselves and be available to the One that is here, we need to forget our needs from everyone and everything.

This can be difficult if we are thinking that we need other people to be happy. It doesn't necessarily mean that we become a hermit, or a recluse. Although we can find ourselves withdrawing from "the world" at times. Of course, we are still free to enjoy "others," because there are so many delightful and wonderful beings to enjoy! But it means that we are not using our relationship with them to fulfill some lack or insecurity in ourselves.  I find it means, for me, to be surrounded by people, but my relationship with them is purely unconditional. People are allowed to like me or not. Its not my business. And although I wish everyone happiness, and I care deeply for others, it's not important if they know this or not. By being detached, I am giving everyone their freedom to be strong and detached as well. I find I am more intrigued and inspired by people that come from this inner strength in themselves.

The journey of embodiment is a process requiring complete aloneness; complete detachment from needing others to feel better about ourselves. This allows us to turn completely to the One that is inhabiting our Being.

The world, as Maya, or Illusion, is full of distractions from the One. And needing "others" is the biggest, stickiest one for many of us.

Feel the One wanting you, all of you, deeper and deeper, so that one day, there will be no question of forgetting, ever, ever again.