Love is my way

I’ve been around the block when it comes to spiritual communities, teachings and such. I’ve seen many different people get lost in many different ways. Some of them get discouraged after awhile and stop their journey. I get curious about this.

In the west, ever since I came back from India, the majority of spiritual folks are following a non-dual path. And if they are following this path, they are listening to teachings through the use of words and concepts. These words are describing something called Awakening, and so these people make their goal about Awakening. In this way, the teachings have become a “known.”

And what I have seen is that some people will have Awakenings, and they then think that this is what they were looking for and they want to make it last. This is all completely natural, as I’ve known this desire in myself at times. The problem with this is that it can become a personal desire, and a “known.” And when it isn’t fulfilled, there can be all kinds of challenges that arise. These challenges can be a doorway if we can find a skillful way to meet them. But most people have their goal set on feeling that Awakening high again, instead of looking at what is actually happening.

I have always had my devotion to the Divine to fall back on. Whenever I’ve hit a roadblock, I let go and She is right there waiting for me. I’ve hit a lot of roadblocks. They have all varied in severity, and to the degree of that severity is how my heart responds as intense Love. Challenges have been my open doorway to Love. The intense Love I feel is a result of many years of challenges and surrendering. And through these years, I have come to see that I am no longer looking for any state or awakening, for what I have surrendered to has revealed itself as what I am looking for.

Wherever we put our attention is where we put our energy. And when we put our attention on the Divine, as the Unknown, this is what becomes energized. We are feeding it with our attention. And when things are challenging, and we let go to the Unknown, that is sending a huge intention into the Field. We are not grasping for any knowns- any old ideas- we are completely giving all agency over to the Divine, as the Unknown. The energy of Love increases every time we do this because we surrender in our Heart, where deep knowing and intuition reside. Our Heart knows how to surrender, and when. This Love starts to bloom as a natural response to this incredible relationship with the Unknown. We begin to taste something that far surpasses the experience of awakening, because no matter what- we are inspired to do it again, and again.

I have never felt flat or dried up. I have felt frustrated, scared and confused, but these are the roadblocks that I have learned are the signal to let go. And I always feel Love, no matter what. That is my Way, and it is going way past any knowns.

The Quantum

I have always been a lover of the Field. As a young child I became aware of this vast, unseen Presence in my life. As I grew older, this Presence became my friend and companion- always there witnessing my challenges and fears. Now that I have a much deeper relationship with it, and are much more aligned with it, the Field has revealed itself as the Quantum- full of endless possibilities and potential.

Most people operate according to the 3D model of reality. Everything takes time, and we go around trying to influence matter by being matter. We are separate bodies moving through time and space attempting to have control over outcomes. There might be glimpses of the spiritual dimension while we are doing this, but we are still operating in the 3D world.

When we put our attention on the Quantum, as Nothing- the void, we are for a moment giving up the 3D. But most people stop there, because giving up the 3D is not an option. This is their reality, and it’s the only one that offers some sort of security, even if it is illusory.

But if we do not understand how the Field affects matter, we will go around continually trying to change according to the 3D laws. And this takes an incredible amount of time. We might want to heal our past programs, but because we are operating in such a dense world, this can take years.

But when we operate from the Field, we have immediate access to what’s possible, because there is no separation here. Everything is right here, if we are out of the way enough. To me, this is the only way to operate, to achieve anything at all. And when we start working from the Field, we sense this infinite Universe of energy and frequency. Everything is light, and Love. We stay incredibly inspired. Healing old programs can happen quite easily here, as higher frequencies are available to transmute the lower, more incoherent frequencies. Healing bodies and deficiencies are within reach because we are not operating through the world of form.

The Quantum affects form. Form does not affect the Quantum. By learning to play in the Field, we learn to affect form. This is what we are here for. The science of energy and frequency is how we will evolve, from matter to energy.

Purnam

Purnam is a Sanskrit word meaning whole, complete, without lack. It’s a recognition of the absolute nature of the Universe. Self-Realization is a direct perception of this completeness as Self.

When I first approached Amma and asked her to accept me as a disciple (my second year in India), I recognized that the only way I could ever serve her was to have a complete realization of Self. My devotion to the Supreme Para-Shakti, as the Divine Principle was already quite intense, and I could see the trajectory of my journey. My journey was all about evolution, and not about being a success in the world. But yet I ended up in the world, while not really having any place in it.

This has been a huge challenge for me. Most of my life I’ve lived with extremely modest means, with absolutely no interest in securing a future. The challenge is when everyone else is looking for worldly success, and my Heart is yearning for absolute realization. Surrender became the most common day-to-day approach to this challenge, which has exposed every little perception of lack. I began to see my experiences of lack of money, security etc as only a perception, and not true. My inner life continued to reveal an abundance of light, bliss and Oneness with the Divine. It just hadn’t translated into the 3D world…yet.

As my lucidity of Self deepens and matures, I am recognizing that what I am headed for is Purnam- completeness without any need to have anything added. This is what the Purnam Mantra speaks of; the realization of that which is always complete, even when things are taken away, or when things are added. It cannot be less than complete. We are meant to know this about ourselves. This is the correct attitude regarding renunciation- we have no attachments to worldly things or people. We are the Universe and all its abundance. To know Purnam first will naturally bring about the experience of abundance as our Self.

It’s a challenge to describe this feeling, but when it shifts into it, you know it. And the real test comes when things are falling apart in your world, but it doesn’t really change anything. If anything, it only makes the living experience of Purnam deeper and more immediate.

To know Purnam isn’t an overnight awakening or understanding. It is a process of looking deeply at any perceptions of lack, or incompleteness. Since most of these are unconscious, time is a factor, and surrender reveals the subconscious. It takes a deep devotion to want to go beyond desires and attachments, to experience the Self as Purnam. It takes an acknowledgement that all desires are born out of the illusion of separation. It takes an open Heart filled with the Love of the Divine to know the Divine as what we are, as Purnam.