Sometimes Life really wants our attention. And it may bring us some challenges to get that attention. And if we are not tuning into the way Life is moving, we may resist it, or attempt to change it. We may try to control the circumstances by thinking our way through them.
But Life is here to show us that we are being taken care of, in ways that we cannot understand with our minds. We are constantly being guided by the Infinite Reality, right within our own Being. We are waking up, as consciousness, so that we move with Life, as Life, not against it. And if we find ourselves in a challenging circumstance, then it is time to get quiet, and pay attention.
Recently I was told I needed surgery on my hip. This has been a constant source of discomfort for me, and the idea of being pain-free, even if it means surgery, is something I want to experience.
And then, just a day after a very powerful Four-Day Retreat, I was told that the house I was renting was going on the market, and that it would probably sell rather quickly, and that I would need to move out. The only "problem" with that is that there were no houses for rent in my little town that I can afford. Not one.
I went through a little darkness then. The weariness of being in pain, along with knowing that I would need a couple of months recovery time, without a known place to live pulled the rug out from under me. (This is when we can see if we are a bit too accustomed to where we are). A dense, dark cloud descended, and I felt lost and overwhelmed.
I couldn't fight this. I had no energy to do so, and no weapons with which to fight. The invitation to sit in overwhelmed was all I had. It didn't last long. The part of "Joi" that needed security literally fell away. I watched it happen. And in its place was a blazing awake clarity. My body felt very light with an enthusiasm that wasn't there before. A sense of possibility opened up in my Being. We were going some place new!
I had an idea to check out places to live in the next town, about 1/2 hour away. So I began to search for a new home. There were several to choose from. I now feel that this new place is only a stepping stone, and not an arrival. And because I will still need to work at my little day job at the library, I will need to commute in the winter. And so guidance is suggesting I sell my old truck, and lease a new car. How exciting! There is a new flow of life here, and now that I am paying attention to it, I recognize that the old way of Being was becoming a bit stagnant and uninspired. This new flow feels light and full of new energy. Creative energy. I can sense that it may lead me to another place. I can almost count on it. And because I no longer need "my" way, I am open to Life's way. And even though I have lived in this gorgeous, sweet community for over 20 years, I can be open to change if this is what Life wants. I feel like I am about to embark on a new adventure, and I have no idea where it will lead. But I also know that I don't need to know.