The Heart's Worthiness

After teaching and working with people for almost 20 years, I begin to notice certain trends and patterns. There is one trend that continued to baffle me, and this is something I wish I could influence in some way.

Many people want to change, but don’t want to put in the effort to change. Or perhaps they put in a little effort for a while, but then get discouraged and stop. Or their experience lacks depth, and so becomes uninspiring, and so they just stop. I know I’ve seen this again and again, and I know other teachers, including Amma, mention this. I remember Adya one time mentioning that around 95% of people will stop at some point! Even people that come and spend the money for a private session will at some point drop the ball, because the effort to change seems out of reach for them. And it never made a difference how much I attempted to support them, they always seemed to find a reason to quit. I can pretty much tell when a person has the drive to keep going, or when they don’t.

I kept wondering about this. And then one day, I was listening to my newest teacher talk about change, and the effort that is needed to grow. He then spoke about why he thinks people don’t want to put in the effort, and he put it in a nutshell- People don’t feel worthy enough to put in the effort to change. There is something that they believe about themselves, on a mostly subconscious level, that makes them not believe in themselves.

We’ve all encountered deficiencies in ourselves. How we act, our successes and failures, our relationships, etc. But what I want to talk about is the deeper deficiencies that have to do with our identity as a separate self. The separate self will never feel whole and complete. That’s why it feels separate. It will always feel some sort of deficiency in some way. These deficiencies fuel doubt, which creates a self-sabotage towards self-growth and evolution.

Now, there is a difference between evolution and self-improvement. The change I am speaking about is knowing our infinite Divine nature. It is not the self-improvement that feeds new identities so that one feels better about oneself. If we are trying to create new identities to feel better about ourselves, we are only validating the deficiencies that lie in the subconscious. It’s the bandaid effect, and it doesn’t give us the feeling of wholeness and freedom.

Real worthiness lies within our Heart. It is the Heart that knows it’s own Divine nature, as Love. When we know this lies within us, as something that is infinite and eternal, we really value it. We want to open up to it and allow it to free itself. This requires effort, by seeing what is in the way. It requires devotion and dedication, time and energy. All this is intention, and it gets registered in the Field. If we are doubting, procrastinating, and making excuses then that gets registered in the Field.

Unworthiness is simply old programs, but when we make excuses for not putting in effort, we are identifying with the unworthiness. This is what we are embodying. We don’t see ourselves as worth the effort, and we keep believing that happiness and fulfillment lie outside of ourselves. We keep trying to find satisfaction by listening to teachers that confirm our bias, not with people that will challenge us to keep looking and keep going. We want these confirmations in the people that we hang out with, while anyone that challenges our ideas and beliefs will be seen as a threat. But this is just the unworthiness being triggered. If we are putting in the effort, we won’t need confirmation, because we are the confirmation. We are the ultimate state of worthiness, because we are connected to the Heart. The Heart knows its own goodness, its own value. And when we connect with it, and it begins to open, we will begin to know this within our own Self. Not by what we do, or how others see us, but by what we are.