Perfectionism

Ooooo- such a good topic for spiritual folks! I had no idea about this when I first started experiencing pain. And now that it’s nine months later, self-perfectionism is still attempting to divert from real authenticity.

Some of us unconsciously created impossible standards for ourselves as human beings. I now know that I did. Spending all those years in an ashram at a young age set me up for this type of personality. Amma didn’t do it, but the cultural conditioning around her did. We had to abide by so many rules of conduct, clothing, discipline and general presentation. This all has its place in order to make us more aware, more focused, and less distracted. But it also can breed this type of perfectionism which can make us really hard on ourselves.

When we encounter parts of ourselves that are affected by the programs from our past, we are usually encountering things like insecurity, deficiency, unworthiness, lack of confidence, need for approval, people-pleasing, defensiveness, etc. All these things are simply programs, but when they are unconscious, we can adopt a strategy to compensate for them. This is where perfectionism comes in to play. Unconsciously, we begin to set really high standards for ourselves- we need to be perfect. This perfectionism keeps all these other programs buried, which the brain begins to perceive as dangerous. No wonder so many people have chronic symptoms! Because when we make mistakes, we then turn against our experience- because it’s not perfect, and this is all done through the sub-conscious programs.

Becoming aware of any tendencies towards perfectionism is a huge step towards self-compassion and recovery from pain. Perfectionism is simply a strategy to stay safe in a spiritual identity. Once we can get beyond that identity and begin embracing ourselves as a human being, from Awareness, self-compassion becomes like a warm hug, and a welcome home.

Spiritual life is hard enough without us setting impossible standards for ourselves. I think because we know deep in our hearts that we are pure potential, anything limiting feels extremely painful. But this is simply identification, and once we see these tendencies that we identify with, they can become the doorway to liberation. Yes, even perfectionism becomes an amazing opening into the Unlimited.