It's been tight lately, in the body. A subtle gripping as the roots of fear are being exposed. Last night, as I was trying to walk on the ice, the instability in the hip joint sent a wave of intense shakiness into the gut, exposing the frailty that lies in the body's illusory relationship with life. It's like all the little threads that this body/mind believed it had to rely on are being cut or untied. Shaky indeed.
This morning I awoke to a strong sense of Amma with me. She's been in California, and I really miss being in her physical presence this year.
As I sat in meditation, the entire unified field came in quite strongly. The totality of everything was looking back at itself sitting on the couch. The body absorbed the recognition immediately, feeling that the circumstances of its life were only appearances. Like little bumps in the road.
Its the body/mind that is realizing the Divine, as all its illusionary threads are being pulled away. The circumstances of Life, on any relative level are taking place in the body as well, so it feels like the body is taking in the absolute totality of everything. The body is feeling quite giddy with all this fresh space within, the space that is allowing the totality a way in. The giddy feeling is the totality in the body, it's bliss. To allow the body/mind this fresh assault of bliss is such a gift. To focus on circumstances is to refuse the gift. To feel the nervous system being rewired as the gift is received is allowing a new life to occur, one that is being sensed rather than thought. Again and again. I sense that this opening to the totality is something that will continue as the body leaves behind all limiting perceptions and experiences. We shall see, we shall see.