The story continues...part 3
/I became increasingly aware of the thought/feeling connection that was hard-wired in my hyper-vigilant brain. I also saw how the brain began “looking out’ for danger that hadn’t happened yet. It’s like the danger-program was so hard-wired that it began looking for things that may happen, or that could happen. Now, before the pain became so extreme all this stuff was in the subconscious. I didn’t see it. But I have been acutely aware of another program all my life, and it has been hugely perplexing whenever it would fire- and it was constantly firing. This conscious program was the survival program- the one that was always worried about money, housing. etc- the one that felt lack. This survival program has been there as long as i can remember, and no matter what I did, it remained. But because of my ignorance, I always thought that my circumstances needed to change for the better for the program to resolve. Being aware of it never worked. I even signed up for a very expensive online program with a very well-known teacher to help me, but it didn’t even come close to helping me free this issue.
Of course, the survival program triggers the hormones of stress into the body. The adrenals respond to the brain’s perception of danger, and if it is constant, the entire system gets overwhelmed. Disease, pain, fatigue, immune issues, digestive stuff, all come from this imbalance.
In June of this year, I found a new teacher. I had learned all that I could from my mindbody coach, and I felt much better. And even though the pain was still constant, and walking remained difficult, I knew it was time to take it to the next level. The survival issues were still being activated, and the emotional response still had a certain tendency that was not resolving. i knew that these programs from my past, that were affecting my present had to be resolved, and I was ready. I now had an inner drive/guidance kick in that I have felt before when something really resonates with my journey. I felt inspired. And this inspiration wasn’t just about getting out of pain- it was about complete liberation. The pain had simply opened the door, and like all aspects of our journey, when we walk through one door, eventually another will follow. It’s the evolutionary process, and mine was about to kick into high gear.