Cloaks and Disguises

Several years ago, I had lost my day-job. Even though that job was my primary source of income,  the circumstances surrounding that job had made it impossible to stay. Life had brought down it's sword and severed the relationship, and there was nothing I could do.

It was one of those times that brought up a tremendous amount of fear. Not simply because I had lost my job, but because I knew in my heart that it was a perfect time to stand in the fire of not-knowing, and allow that fear to come to the surface.

My intuition told me that it was a perfect storm. I also knew that those perfect storms don't show up everyday, and that I needed to grab the opportunity to allow the storm to happen.

I had gotten a short house/pet-sitting gig, and it was cold. The shakiness of uncertainty was keenly felt, and I knew it to be a root of separation. I knew it needed to be uprooted. So, I let the storm come the absolute terror of certain death. Ego knew that its fear of the unknowing was being exposed...and it really felt like I was going to die. It was imagining possible outcomes of homelessness and other vague scenarios, in which the worst could happen.

It didn't take long. Not really. Once I was aligned with the storm- the Divine intelligence that was the storm, and not feeding into the story of needing to feel safe- the shift happened in an instant. The storm blew in, and the disguise of needing security was lifted. And as I was standing there, looking out the window into the cold bleakness of grey skies, a shadowy cloak fell from my being, and disappeared as if it never was.

I knew what it was. Only a cloak, a hiding place. And without that cloak, the consciousness within the ego was free. The consciousness within that illusory ego-structure lost its need to know, because the future of possible outcomes left with the falling away of the cloak. 


The sense of "I" still remained, but there was a sense of liberation. I felt free from the disguise of fear and insecurity that was my entire view moments ago. 

It was a brilliantly clear and precise gift from the show my being what the separate ego structure really was- nothing but a cloak of fabulous illusion- while the consciousness within it merged back into the sea. Calm and unruffled, after the passing of the storm.