The Great Removal

Many people on a spiritual path cause themselves much more difficulty than is necessary. And the primary way they do this is by believing or thinking that spiritual awakening is some sort of attainment, or that all experiences need to be good, conscious kinds of experiences. We don't want the kinds of experiences that expose our trance-like habits; the ones that don't seem to go away.

Spirituality, or enlightenment is not an attainment, or experience. It is a removal. A removal of you. You and all your projections onto the world, self and others. It is a removal of who it is that wants only nice characteristics, the one that wants to appear as a positive, spiritual person. Removal isn't something that is very pleasant when you are trying to get something, or be someone. But in order for the body/mind to know itself as a vessel for the infinite reality, there needs to be a great removal of all that is in the way.

Removal isn't done through understanding great non-dual teachings, or having sublime meditation experiences. Removal happens when we, as awareness, begin to see how a central interpreter creates everything we see.

Are we distorting this moment by any kind of interpretation of this moment? Are we only concerned with what our experience is? These are the kinds of questions that life is attempting to expose, so that we can see what it is that divides the unified field of consciousness. Because in true reality, there is no division.

Being removed will probably cause discord, struggle, resistance and pain. This is natural. The illusion of separation is all that is known, until the interpreter is completely removed. So even the removal will be happening through the interpreter. But there will be moments of reprieve; when new space and silence feel like a healing balm upon the nervous system. When the interpreter is temporarily absent, and this fresh moment fills the body/mind with wonder and awe. Allow these moments to inspire. Pay attention. Do not grasp these moments, because they are only the result of an ongoing removal. A great erasure of everything that is known. An absence of all that has gone before, so that the new can live.

Nothing to Do

It is amazing how quiet it is when you have nothing to do. When you are so helpless, you can't even think about the clothes you are going to wear, or the food you are going to prepare.

I came out of surgery weak and helpless as an infant. At first there was such discomfort that all attention went there. All that was happening was discomfort. Continuously.

And now that the discomfort is much less, attention rests. The vast quietude of nothing to do and nowhere to go has manifested itself into this life. I sit and allow this gorgeous space of the totality to touch this human, losing the locality of self.

And because of helplessness, I rely on the generosity of others. People love to help. And because I have always been so independent and self-reliant, I have never allowed many people to actually help me. Until now. And all this generosity is going right into the heart. So much generosity and Love is all around, showing this body/mind how loved it is. How precious and appreciated it is. This has never been experienced by the mind/body so directly. As a result the body/mind experiences Love in a new way, in a way that persists in it's presence.

I see friends with concern on their faces, and the body/mind weeps. Love comes right in. The weeping has not a trace of "me" in it. There is only Love. Touching this body/mind in a way that it was made to be touched. Pure. Deep. Without any story or condition, past or future. Our body/minds were made to be touched by Love in a way so that we may understand the language of Life, and lose ourselves in our loss for words.

More Space

It's been tight lately, in the body. A subtle gripping as the roots of fear are being exposed. Last night, as I was trying to walk on the ice, the instability in the hip joint sent a wave of intense shakiness into the gut, exposing the frailty that lies in the body's illusory relationship with life. It's like all the little threads that this body/mind believed it had to rely on are being cut or untied. Shaky indeed.

This morning I awoke to a strong sense of Amma with me. She's been in California, and I really miss being in her physical presence this year.

As I sat in meditation, the entire unified field came in quite strongly. The totality of everything was looking back at itself sitting on the couch. The body absorbed the recognition immediately, feeling that the circumstances of its life were only appearances. Like little bumps in the road.

 Its the body/mind that is realizing the Divine, as all its illusionary threads are being pulled away. The circumstances of Life, on any relative level are taking place in the body as well, so it feels like the body is taking in the absolute totality of everything. The body is feeling quite giddy with all this fresh space within, the space that is allowing the totality a way in. The giddy feeling is the totality in the body, it's bliss. To allow the body/mind this fresh assault of bliss is such a gift. To focus on circumstances is to refuse the gift. To feel the nervous system being rewired as the gift is received is allowing a new life to occur, one that is being sensed rather than thought. Again and again. I sense that this opening to the totality is something that will continue as the body leaves behind all limiting perceptions and experiences. We shall see, we shall see.