Informed by Love

I remember those days....of being so in Love with the Divine, so lost in the longing of the heart, that I found no satisfaction anywhere. The world felt empty of joy and happiness, and the ache of my heart was the only thing I knew. I felt like I was being consumed by this longing, night and day, in a deep visceral and physical way. Sometimes it was agony.

And then one day, that changed. It wasn't that I lost the Love. It just turned around. It wanted to question and be curious about Life. So began the days of opening to everything that came my way. Even resistance and fear became something that held an attraction, in an odd sort of way. All that arose allowed the field of consciousness to enter deeper and deeper into the body. It was consciousness that was curious and attracted, and the small self didn't have a valid voice in this dance of inquiry. Consciousness was the authority, and so, out of Love, it denied the small self it's petty rules.

And now it feels like Love is settling in deeper into the body, allowing the body to know Love. The body/mind feels included in Love, and the response from the body is thrilling and astonishing. It is bliss. There is arising within the body a knowing; the body knows the truth of itself, of Life, as it senses it inside. It is completely self-sustaining. The body/mind/nervous system is maturing in a different way; it now knows the only thing that will bring it happiness, is what is moving it, breathing it, loving it, and including it in itself. It is not conceptual at all. It is felt. And it is completely self-affirming.

From this place, action arises.

Aloneness

The journey of embodiment has one requirement. And its not an easy one. The infinite reality that is wanting to occupy you wants you for itself. It doesn't want to share.

So if we are, in any way, thinking we need others to feel complete, we are not walking the path of Aloneness. In the moment that we are needing others, we are forgetting the One that is really here. And the One that is really here doesn't want to be forgotten. To completely open up ourselves and be available to the One that is here, we need to forget our needs from everyone and everything.

This can be difficult if we are thinking that we need other people to be happy. It doesn't necessarily mean that we become a hermit, or a recluse. Although we can find ourselves withdrawing from "the world" at times. Of course, we are still free to enjoy "others," because there are so many delightful and wonderful beings to enjoy! But it means that we are not using our relationship with them to fulfill some lack or insecurity in ourselves.  I find it means, for me, to be surrounded by people, but my relationship with them is purely unconditional. People are allowed to like me or not. Its not my business. And although I wish everyone happiness, and I care deeply for others, it's not important if they know this or not. By being detached, I am giving everyone their freedom to be strong and detached as well. I find I am more intrigued and inspired by people that come from this inner strength in themselves.

The journey of embodiment is a process requiring complete aloneness; complete detachment from needing others to feel better about ourselves. This allows us to turn completely to the One that is inhabiting our Being.

The world, as Maya, or Illusion, is full of distractions from the One. And needing "others" is the biggest, stickiest one for many of us.

Feel the One wanting you, all of you, deeper and deeper, so that one day, there will be no question of forgetting, ever, ever again.

Amma's Birthday

When I first met Amma, I knew she knew me. Like we were the most intimate of friends. She knew everything. So, there was nothing to hide. What a relief! And over the decades that intimacy has deepened, and become unlike anything I could have imagined.

Now, She is here. Always. I sometimes experience a bit of sadness every now and then, because being in Her physical presence is so much fun, and I don't get to see Her as much. But as soon as remembrance of Amma happens, the Amma presence that is in my heart responds. She IS my heart. She breathes me. She guides me. I feel Her moving my fingers as I type. She is waking up my very nervous system to Her, so that any separation dissolves. She guides me towards certain people, and sometimes She guides me away. I have faith in this guidance, because it has nothing to do with the mind. The guidance is very quiet. Mind is watching all this guidance taking place without mind's interference, and so mind can rest. Mind rests within the Amma heart.

In fact, there is no "me" being guided. There is only this Amma/Life, living itself. The Infinite Reality, pure consciousness, taking over occupancy of the physical form. Quite delightful for the form, since this is what it was designed for. Its a perfect fit. Pure Love inhabiting the Lover. And the eyes look down at these hands in awe of it all.

Happy Birthday to the One Reality that never was born, and will never, ever die.